My Canterbury Tale

So, I was going through more old writings and came across my Canterbury Tale I wrote in high school. My senior year we were learning all about Chaucer and we read about four tales. After this adventure into middle English literature, we all had to write our own Canterbury Tale using a friend of ours for the main character. I chose Nate to be my leading man and wrote this tale. It, like all my old writings, made me crack up. Enjoy!

Prologue

It was a day so long ago,
That I decided to go to Mexico,
I told my friends about the trip,
But no one seemed interested in this hardship,
Except for one by the name of Nate,
He said he’d help me navigate,
A tall man was he,
Always acting fancy free,
Dark curly hair crowned his head,
Long away was he from his deathbed,
His eyes were pools of milk chocolat,
His nose was always filled with snot,
And thus he spent his time blowing his nose,
He could barley smell a rose,
He did not possess a job,
For he dressed like a slob,
But never the less he was my friend,
And I was glad that he could attend,
This long journey to Ensenada,
Where we could eat an Enchilada,
We agreed to keep me awake,
As I drove after daybreak,
He would tell me tales three,
One including his Christmas tree,
To this we shook hands and popped in my red steed,
He started to tell his first story as he had guaranteed.

First Tale

“It was October the 31st” he said, “and the big moon hung low,
In a tree was a fierce black crow,
I swear to the heavens the crow spoke,
'Don’t do it' he said and I nearly had a stroke,
I was dressed as Robin Hood,
Up till now I had always been good,
Slowly I walked to the park,
I stumbled over stones because of the dark,
There sitting was, Bob, my buddy,
When he got up his butt was all muddy,
He went into his sack and pulled out a thing,
It was cold white eggs to fling,
Nearby I heard children laughing with ghoulish delight,
This sound filled my heart with fright,
I started to back away,
For my conscience told me that something was not ok,
'Where are you going' said Bob,
I began to feel my heartthrob,
'I don’t feel right about doing this' said I,
'Common' said Bob, 'Don’t leave me high and dry,
You are only a kid once,
If you leave now I will tease you for months.'
Well I was too chicken to stand up to him,
I didn’t want him to beat me up or take off a limb,
So I grabbed some eggs and we took off,
No sounds between us but a cough,
We went to an old house,
Climbed into some bushes quite as a mouse,
We stayed there for a half an hour,
The bush smelled fairly sour,
When the lights went out inside,
I through an egg with a sigh,
At this Bob seemed satisfied,
But he did not see I was teary eyed,
I thought of the old lady cleaning up the mess,
While I was having fun at my recess,
When the eggs were all thrown,
We ran from the combat zone,
To our own houses we went,
A story for my mom I did invent,
For why I had not one treat,
I told her a tale that was so sweet,
About giving it all to a child,
Whom never smiled,
She ate it up and sent me to bed,
I went into my room and hung my head,
I felt so guilty for what I did,
There was only one way to make it better so I slid,
Out the window and went to the garage,
I grabbed a mop and some camouflage,
I spent all night cleaning the mess,
But in the end it was a success,
Not one egg shell was left in sight,
And thus I made my wrong right,
Bob never knew that I had done this,
So my arm he never did dismiss,
To this day we laugh about it,
But I never will admit,
That I went back that night.
To make my wrong a right.”

“That was a nice story” said I,
“Such sincerity bring a tear to my eye.”
And all Nate had to say was “Well I try”.

Second Tale

An hour had passed and I was getting sleepy,
And the country music was making me weepy,
So I poked Nate in the side,
“What is it?” he replied,
“It is time for story number two.
Wake up” I said, “it is long over due”

“Ok I’ve got one for you,
And I promise this is true,
It all started when I was walking home one night,
I heard a rustling that gave me a fright,
It was dusk and no one was out,
So if there was trouble no one could hear my shout,
I began to walk a little quicker,
Took a short cut and the trees got thicker,
I heard foot steps from behind,
It did not sound like the human kind,
I heard a roar,
It sounded like a dinosaur,
I turned around,
And I found,
Something furry with bad breath,
Oh lordy, I was scared to death,
It was a grizzly bear,
I hoped this was just a nightmare,
But everything felt too real,
I let out a little squeal,
I laid down quickly and tried to play dead,
The bear began to sniff my head,
I tried to be silent but it tickled so,
I looked up and realized he was in woe,
He didn’t want to eat me,
He wanted to be free,
Of the thorn in his paw,
It was quite raw,
So I sat up to take a closer look,
His paw was bent in a hook,
I took it out of it’s position,
And pulled the thorn to my intuition,
It came out with ease,
The bear gave me a lick with grateful please,
He walked away without looking back,
And I went back on track,
On my journey home,
That night I wrote a poem,
Of how looks can be deceitful,
Something ugly can be beautiful.”

“Yeah right” I spoke, “that story is far from true.”,
“Well” said he, “that is your point of view.”

Last Tale

Together Nate and I ate lunch,
To drink we had fruit punch,
We each had a wrap,
He looked inside the flap,
And found a carrot,
He was about to disinherit,
The one whom did trespass,
Even though you needed a magnifying glass,
To see it’s orange shimmer,
But it’s fate looked grimmer,
As Nate threw it in the trash,
So hard against the bin it did crash,
We got back in my car,
Mexico was not to far,
It was time for Nate’s last tale,
He told me it was about a female,
Little did I know he was speaking of none other,
Than his sweet little mother,

“It was a Christmas long ago”
He started, “That I wanted a stereo,
To Santa I wrote every night,
And wished on stars so sparkly bright,
I spent so much time wishing,
And not enough time fishing,
For the money for presents,
That cost some major cents,
Before I knew it, Christmas was here,
And I had nothing for my mother dear,
I looked around for something cheap,
But nothing was good enough for her to keep,
All I had thought was about was me,
I needed to give her something for underneath the tree,
I thought if anyone could help me Santa can,
I was surely his biggest fan,
So on Christmas night,
I kept the fire place in eyesight,
Santa seemed to be very late,
But I stayed up at any rate,
My eyes began to tire,
My plan started to transpire,
As my eyes began to close,
My dreams were filled with stereos,
I felt my mom shaking me,
There were presents underneath the tree,
'When did Santa come?' I asked,
She answered, 'I think half passed,'
'Oh no!' I gave a yell,
'I am going straight to hell,
I didn’t get you a present,
But this was not my intent,
Time just got away from me,
So there’s nothing for you under the tree,
I tried to get the help of Saint Nick,
But he came and went too quick,
Mommy I feel so bad,
I hope that you are not too mad.'
With this she gave a smile
'Hun I haven’t seen you worked up for a while,
You have nothing to worry about,
So there is no need to shout,
I already have the best present and that is you,
Believe me what I’m saying is true.'
So then my mom gave me a hug,
And my dad walked by muttering humbug,
It was that day I realized not all gifts have a bow,
It is the unseen gifts that make us grow.”

“Awww Nate” said I,
“All your stories make me want to cry”,
And once again he said, “Well, I try.”